In the midst of golden dusk,
Sitting on this path of grey,
When i see you smile it just eases my pain away,
The angel who spreads joy with with her verses,
Breathing your fragrance, intoxicated,
I find myself… all over again
I shall count the stars in the sky,
This heart of mine is in pain as the days goes by.
The bright light of the moon is veiled by my iniquity,
Uprightness is lost like the treasures in the sea,
The prickling pain is sharp and constant,
Weeping and crying with shaking hands,
Joy and happiness is the dull fairy tale which was preached.
Soul friend of mine,
She sends her love,
On the wings of a dove,
I wonder what she will say,
If I tell her that I cry every day,
And I have to start all over again.
As she stepped out in the open the glittering stars and the crimson sky made her face light up, her soul constantly seeking and craving for a new adventure, to step into the wild, feel the hustle of fresh air on her face. The scenario of unbound life filled her heart with joy.
A monotonous job or some social issues was never her concern she was more inclined towards a helter-skelter style of life, finding the meaning of life and admiring the beauty of it. The notion of cities with borders was absurd to her, the only thought she had was to get away, explore the things which god has placed around the world, this was her ultimate endeavor. She felt rejuvenated by new experiences; her search for happiness was not human companionship but to seek beauty in nature that made her happy. Her only dream was to seek new land, unravel the mysteries, never settle down, be a nomad, experience the ways of life and the only thought she had was to get away.
Her never ending journey and her love for the road, to travel far and conquer the world with her grace, the wanderlust had gripped her soul.
I call her …”The Wanderer”
When we get tired of the pain and suffering which follows us like our shadow, the mind gets exhausted. Hurting the ones we love or inflict pain on others gives us satisfaction; it’s like an ethereal trophy to keep beside us. But at some point of time when the pain gets excruciating we just go into little imaginary spaces and disconnect from the outside world leaving us numb, numb to any situation, numbness to the world. All the emotions just vanish into thin air and numbness becomes a virus spreading inch by inch until it covers our whole body. We always think pain is the worst feeling but this numbness and eternal silence inside me has created a hole leaving us hollow. We would do anything to feel pain again, to feel something.
Trying to cling onto something corporeal,
My pain getting constant and sharp,
The cries getting louder and callous,
The gloomy feeling rules my heart.
The continuum of happiness is bleak,
Tired of this illusory which I perform every day that validates my existence in society,
The hollow conscience and the eradicating morals,
Blanket of stars brings solace to this restless heart,
Millions of the just glowing in darkness.
This is God’s own curse whether day or night,
The fake smile and the dreary face make it evidently clear of the fanatic cries,
Poison on my mind and the black coffin in my sight,
Abandoned by the near and dear ones,
Just throw my corpse where sadness cannot mourn,
Tired of being trapped behind this mask of despair.