pain

The Mask

53241381716340847Impatient racing of my heart with a dim corner for compassion,

Trying to cling onto something corporeal,

My pain getting constant and sharp,

The cries getting louder and callous,

The gloomy feeling rules my heart.

 

The continuum of happiness is bleak,

Tired of this illusory which I perform every day that validates my existence in society,

The hollow conscience and the eradicating morals,

Blanket of stars brings solace to this restless heart,

Millions of the just glowing in darkness.

 

This is God’s own curse whether day or night,

The fake smile and the dreary face make it evidently clear of the fanatic cries,

Poison on my mind and the black coffin in my sight,

Abandoned by the near and dear ones,

Just throw my corpse where sadness cannot mourn,

Tired of being trapped behind this mask of despair.

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“If we could see inside other people’s heart: Life

The scene is from Cleveland hospital in which the camera focuses on people as they are busy in their routine tasks. As the camera focuses on the people and their inner feelings are written on the screen and the hospital environment where lots of emotions are magnified – joy, sorrow, good and bad news, anxiety, fear etc.

We all go through these feeling everyday but here the emphasis or the message which this video is trying to showcase is “Empathy”. We all are busy in our daily lives but ignore feelings of our friends, colleagues, even strangers. Feelings are fragile, everyone has a story, and we just have to take a little time to listen to each other stories. Treat each other with respect, kindness and courtesy and most important is to empathize.

Lovers Rendezvous

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Suddenly I realize it was an illusion, a dream and a window is merely open through which wind is gushing inside and making a whistling sound. I see her, her beautiful eyes gazing me and her hands are on my shoulders, the touch felt warm with the idea of love in her eyes. Her fragrance was similar to the flowers besides my bed. My heart is pounding and the time froze as we exchanged stare with those eyes piercing mine trying to scrutinize my soul. Her face had a smirk and she sat beside me on my bed as I took comfort in her arms and I couldn’t control myself, my tears began to flow. I missed her, day and night thought of not being with her brought pain and despair but now seeing her in front of me thoughts began to rush into my mind. She said the three words which brought amenity to my restless heart. She got up to leave and I tried to grab her hand but the flower vase fell making an earsplitting sound. Suddenly I realize it was an illusion, a dream and a window is merely open through which the wind was gushing inside and making a whistling sound.

Mind of a Junkie

The day passes by staring into oblivion, frozen in time, surrounded by ambiguous pool of thoughts. The only friend I have is my own reflection but sometimes I fight with it also.

Constantly trying to make some sense of the lines on my wrists and arms, if they are helpful enough to show me some sign or a way. Sitting with an empty head, shaking, sweating, mumbling and suddenly everything becomes blurred resisting the urges but the craving is enormous, even the preeminent gladiator would not be able to win this battle with my inner self.

Minutes becomes hours and hours becomes days as I continue to stare into darkness with a vivid imagination. The only peace I have is when I lay on the ground and hear the trumpet sounds because the pain is shifted into the background, this pain is the only thing that is real and the only feeling I have.

Broken, battered and bruised I walk; my eyes are red, staring at this big circular monument which I call it the circle of hope, trying to remember the merry days spent here but the state of insomnia ruins my merry memories as I recall them in parts. Some of the worldly treasures I have are the merry memories of the past which I call it my hidden treasure but now those are also fading away.

We are always changing with time and it’s a vital part of our lives and it can be anything, change in habits, friends, clothes, thoughts etc. I have also changed; a vital part of me has changed which are my past memories. Now it includes two needles, an arm band and some delusional thoughts which I have sometimes.

I hope this addiction doesn’t go away because this is the only reason I live for and to feed its growing need. Alive I feel, Alive……