Lost love

Darkness Galore

dark_moon_by_martasyrko-d6srely_FotorWhen we get tired of the pain and suffering which follows us like our shadow, the mind gets exhausted. Hurting the ones we love or inflict pain on others gives us satisfaction; it’s like an ethereal trophy to keep beside us. But at some point of time when the pain gets excruciating we just go into little imaginary spaces and disconnect from the outside world leaving us numb, numb to any situation, numbness to the world. All the emotions just vanish into thin air and numbness becomes a virus spreading inch by inch until it covers our whole body. We always think pain is the worst feeling but this numbness and eternal silence inside me has created a hole leaving us hollow. We would do anything to feel pain again, to feel something.

Advertisements

Ending it all

Image

An oblivious dream,

About failed dreams, hurting everyone I love,

I stare at my reflection in the mirror,

Sheer revulsion to everything I see,

I cry and wish I wasn’t me.

 

 

Life’s cruel jokes I cannot bear,

These pills just give cheap thrills with faux peace,

Memories of anguish and regret shall only hound,

Near and dear ones won’t understand the reason for this misfortune,

They think my broken heart can take these sorrows,

Just tired of failures and these secrets,

I shall abide my thought of ending it all.

 

 

Screaming, howling, a final frantic desperate shout,

Save me from this pain and agony,

My 9mm pistol, my only friend,

Trusted friend of mine I keep you close to my heart,

Promise me the pain will be sharp and the end will be near before the sight of my blood.

 

 

As they say the night belongs to the poets and the madmen,

I am the mad poet whose verses are dreary,

I haven’t shared my words which depicts my feeble soul carrying the burden of absurd egoism,

I pray to the narcissistic God to reward me a meaningful death.

 

 

I am trying to gather every bit of courage left in me,

The time I have been waiting for shall soon be here,

When I shall have no pain and no fear,

I have made up my mind,

My head is filled with the thoughts of ending it all.

 

 

This is freedom, freedom from shackles of society, freedom from rigid expectations of the loved ones, freedom from reality and thousand voices whispering don’t be afraid to end it all.   

Eternal Darkness

I’m in love with the darkness of the night,
I’m in love with all that’s out of sight,
I’m in love with the magic of the new,
And the darkness loves me, too.

I hope you are not lonely without me,
As the darkness sets our imagination free,
Sorrow won’t let my heart alone,
But I have darkness to cover the tears that, sorrow got.

It’s very dark darling, too dark to see,
My love is gone and only darkness is with me.
This restless heart that I have to slay,
Then I will find some peace in this dark fray.

Please don’t sing that old sad hym, no more
those melancholic tones resonates inside my soul.
Darkness haunts my dreams,
I cannot bear the pain I receive.

I can’t forget the harm I have caused to the loved ones with whom I always fought,
The darkness is still inside me and my soul is now its slave
If I want to be happy I will have to fight a bit longer, than this day.
No matter how much I curse this darkness it is the only things that is real and I will live forever this way.

I’m in love with the darkness of the night,
I’m in love with all that’s out of sight,
I’m in love with the magic of the new,
And the darkness loves me, too.

I JUST WANT TO SAY NO MATTER WHAT I WILL LOVE YOU, NO MORE.

Image

Walking away, she is walking away; she is walking to the point of no return. Many sleepless nights and many troubled days, I cannot feel myself again. The friendship I adored has ran its course. All the promises we made to each other are broken and seem pointless. The smile, singing and dancing all seems as a festering dream as I want be able to experience it no more.

I cannot feel myself, hollow from inside and there is just an idea of me, a walking set of bones and flesh but the real me is intoxicated with pain. There is no real me. I just have become the slave to your love. My heart is there no more, my feelings are there no more and my affection is there no more. There are two parts of me one is angry about the circumstances and the other one is in pain and doesn’t care about the circumstances.

With your memories I spend my nights and my shattered soul is prodding me with the same question again and again, how to live without you? Why should I breath, just tell me the reason, why all the lies, why all the cries, why this love become bitter? What have you done my sweetest friend? The feeling of hurt, pain and sadness is the only thing that’s left. The words you said are killing me every minute.

I have realized that my heart would not get over the fact that you are gone, I have failed in my quest of love but my heart doesn’t process these facts. So I have locked my heart in a safe behind the painting on the wall. I feel sad and hurt; the treasures of love is dwindling, and just want to say no matter how hurt I feel I will love you, no more. I just want to say no matter how tough the situation is I will love you, no more. I just want to say no matter how dark this path may be without you I will love you, no more. No more……